"I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate." - George Burns

NEW GOLF RULES FOR SENIORS
Rule 1.a.5 - A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass which groundskeepers failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6 (b) - A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.

Rule 3.b.3 (g) - There shall be no such thing as a lost ball; the missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.

Rule 4.c.7 (h) - If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.

Rule 5. - Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

Rule 6.a.9 (k) - There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule 7.g.15 (z) - There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers' shortcomings.

Rule 8.k.9(s) - Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impracticable for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

Please advise all your senior friends of these important rule changes.

• Americans consume 10 billion donuts every twelve months.
• The first Siamese cat in the United States is reported to have been a gift to President Rutherford B. Hayes. In the early 1900's, a Siamese could cost more than $1,000---quite a lot of money in those days.
• There are lightning strikes somewhere on earth 100 times a second. And every time lightning strikes, it generates Ozone gas. This strengthens the Ozone Layer in the upper atmosphere.
• The Black Ironwood tree (Olea laurifolia) has wood so dense that it won't float on water.
• If you were to build a ship you would be better off with a type of rock known as volcanic pumice rather than Ironwood. It is less dense than water, so it can float.
• While both humans and alligators depend on their teeth in order to chew food, humans only get two sets of natural teeth to last them a lifetime. Alligators get from 2,000 to 3,000 teeth during the course of their lifetime.
• If a tiger loses all his hair, he'll still be striped. Tiger stripes are like fingerprints, each individual cat's markings are unique. And they're not just hair, the stripes are in their skin. Seems to be a thing with cats, since your house cat's fur markings are also skin deep.
• The blue-ringed octopus is the most poisonous octopus in the world with venom that can kill an adult human in minutes. There is no known antidote.
• If the sun stopped shining suddenly, it would take eight minutes for people on earth to be aware of the fact.
• Frogs cannot swallow with their eyes open.
• The yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer is considered a delicacy in Australia.
• Tonya Harding was the first American ice skater to successfully land a triple axel in competition.
• If you have a 'Sister Joseph's Nodule,' you have been diagnosed with belly-button cancer.
• Hummingbirds live an average of 5 years. They are hatched from eggs that are so small that a penny would cover three of them. Hummingbirds are usually hatched in pairs in nests that average 1.5 inches in diameter.
• The average age of a French oak tree harvested to make wine barrels is 170 years old. This is because the older oak tends to be denser. This is good for adding flavor to wine.
• The only two spots below sea level in the United States are Death Valley, CA and New Orleans, LA. Death Vally is 282 feet below sea level and New Orleans is 8 feet.
• Americans eat more bananas than any other fruit: a total of 11 billion a yea
• One of the most useful sites for staying in touch with your government is www.firstgov.gov, a general site created by the federal governmentthat is linked to a wide range of government groups.
• According to the US Government people have tried nearly 28,000 different ways to lose weight.
• Sharks can live up to 100 years.
• Laser stands for; Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
• A capon is a castrated rooster.
• A pineapple is actually a berry.
• The temperature of Earth's interior increases by 1 degree every 60 feet down.
• Afternoon temperatures on Mars go up to about 80 degrees in some areas, and down to -190 degrees F at night.
• The average human eye can distinguish about 500 different shades of gray

Tom Telfer, B.A. Rotary Club of London West, PP PHF
District 6330 London, Ontario, Canada
Charter member of ROTI & Rotary Editors & Publishers
Editor of Jocoe’s Journal
ttelfer@rogers.com

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